A Long Overdue Shout Out to Our Northerly Neighbors: Don’t Blame Canada…Blame US…Er I Mean, the U.S.
Not to be unpatriotic, but from what I’ve seen so far of some of the shenanigans in the NHL, I can’t help but think the Americans are taking a bit too much liberty with hockey, the sport made famous by Canada. For instance, the Phoenix Coyotes franchise is reportedly bankrupt which means a U.S. Bankruptcy Court is now involved. When Canadian billionaire Jim Balsillie offered to buy the Coyotes he was threatened with a “relocation fee” due to his wish to move what would be his team to Hamilton, Ontario. Oh yes, and the “relocation fee” is purported to be $100 million! Why would the Bankruptcy Court allow this???
According to NHL Updates,
“The NHL would like the team to go up for auction in September to owners who plan to keep it in Arizona, such as the prospective buyers who have already filed applications to purchase the Coyotes.”
So can the NHL be surprised when people conjecture that their “relocation fee” is really just a slimy attempt to keep the Phoenix Coyotes in the U.S.? It would be nice for Phoenix to keep their hockey team, but should the NHL/U.S. really be interfering with international commerce? (And could you blame Mr. Balsillie if he filed a claim with the NAFTA Court?) And who gave the NHL so much power anyway?
Suffice it to say that I do not like what is going on with the NHL. Besides this Phoenix Coyotes thing, they have spent the better part of this season seemingly trying to get rid of fighting in hockey by overly-penalizing it. So now when I imagine the head honchos of the NHL, I envision their meetings like how The Simpsons portray the Republican National Headquarters: a dark, foreboding laboratory housing the likes of Frankenstein, Dracula, and of course Mr. Burns. I wonder why that is?
I’ve only been to Canada once, and it’s been years ago now, but it’s such a lovely country. So why do we keep crapping all over it? And why do the Canadians keep putting up with us? (Actually, here it would probably be best if the Canadians separated us from some of the shenanigans of our judicial system. But then, if you start down that road you’d have to ask the entire world to separate us from some of the actions of our entire government. Hey, that might not be a bad idea.) Although Canadians don’t seem to pull punches when it comes to hockey which makes this thing with Balsillie, the Coyotes, and the NHL all that more confusing. And the Canadian press is so much more intelligent than ours. Have they stood up for Basillie? They should.
For instance, look at this article from The Globe and Mail in Toronto. In this op ed, sports journalist (no really, an actual journalist!) Bruce Dowbiggin writes:
Inquiring minds wanted to know why Detroit’s incomparable defenceman Nick Lidstrom missed the final two games of the Western Conference final between the Red Wings and Chicago. The media spoke only of the ubiquitous “lower-body” injury. And when Lidstrom appeared tired and mistake-prone in the Final against Pittsburgh, questions were raised again about his fitness to play. Was it an ankle? A knee? Under the NHL’s Orwellian injury disclosure policy, a postal-code approximation of the hurt was all that was given to the media.
Actually, Lidstrom had a damaged testicle from being pitch-forked by Chicago’s Patrick Sharp in Game 3 of the Western final. He needed all the time between the cheap shot and Game One of the final to rehabthe injury. As Paul Harvey used to say, “Now you know the rest of the story”.
While it’s considerate to Lidstrom that such an . . . er, intimate injury be hushed up, the cover-up damages the league’s credibility in several ways. First, we now have a better understanding that Lidstrom was not tired or old or ready for retirement– as suggested by more than one announcer or reporter. Second, the cover-up denied the opportunity to expose Sharp’s disrespectful abuse of one of the league’s superstars – a necessary discussion in lieu of the league’s willful denial on head shots.
An “Orwellian injury disclosure policy”? A “postal-code approximation of the hurt”? Oh how droll! You’d never see this level of intelligence in the American press.
And as an aside, it’s not like the Red Wings haven’t ever resorted to goon hockey. (And here, someone’s mother will inevitably intervene and say, “And if your friends jumped off the Sears Tower would you do it too?”) Ok, so I’m biased. And yeah, Sharpie shouldn’t have plugged a guy in the berries. That was a low blow, literally, but Hawks and Hawks fans alike just hate the Red Wings so much that there is an exception to every goon rule.
Anyway, my point is, this level of journalism, even in sports, illustrates why Canada rocks. So why does our country, or at least our government, treat them so shabbily? Perhaps it’s time we give Canada its due. Canada, you are the cleanest, nicest country. Thank you for hockey, and hopefully our country can learn some things from you (like how not to dumb down the population by dumbing down the press). And keep on sticking it to the NHL Canada, like with this gem,
“Somehow the NFL has had full reporting on injuries without compromising a single game. The NFL is the gold standard fans now expect. Every day the NHL cloaks itself in the shrouds of subterfuge adds to the perception of the league as out-of-date and fan unfriendly.”
because hockey is your sport and you were there first. (And the league is fan-unfriendly. Hell, the league is player- and possibly even franchise-unfriendly.)