Hmm…will the NHL investigate?  Well, I for one would like to believe it was a mistake.  I mean, if you have to cheat, you’re not really winning anyway.  Don’t players and the organization know this?  And it’s not like they’re not going to be found out.  Duh.  And even if the Habs were trying to cheat this way, it didn’t much seem to matter since the Habs were totally shut out (again!), 3-0, by the Flyers regardless.  With these shut-outs, it does make you wonder though if we aren’t seeing a bit of goon karma.

Too mean?  Yeah, well, maybe after about three years of Patrick Kane, I’m a little tired of him (with or without Cabbiegate).  Tonight’s The Point After segment really took the cake though.  It was suggested that people often think that Kane has been given all his success on a silver platter.   No, it’s more like Kane has been set up for success by his teammates.  We need only look at the Olympics to see the truth of that statement.  Apparently nobody told Kane’s Team USA teammates that they had to set him up sweetly for goals, which is why he had such a serious drop-off in play.

I think if I had to do some serious soul searching about Kane, I’d find that that’s why he rubs me the wrong way: his teammates are the ones that make him look good.  And there it is.  I deeply, deeply resent that the shine is off Jonathan Toews’ apple a little bit because he’s spent the last two seasons having to babysit Kane; Kane who can’t take the puck to the net to save his life and who turns the puck over at the slightest bit of harassment.  Perhaps Toews is too modest and too much a team player to mind.  But I mind, and I know others at the games mind.  I have heard them, season after season, exposing the emperor who has no clothes.

And undoubtedly because others and myself say these things, the Hawks’ PR machine will be at it again in the near future trying to justify the money spent on their feigned golden boy.  But we don’t say these things to be mean.  We, or at least I, say them because 1) I think Patrick Kane’s place and his salary should go to someone more deserving, and 2) he steals the spotlight from his more deserving teammates (Jonathan Toews being only one of them).

So please, Hawks PR machine.  Just stop.  We — that is, anyone past puberty — know the truth!

Oh, and since I’m in the middle of watching tonight’s Blackhawks game against the Oilers, I just have to ask, because I’m thinking of it, did Dustin Byfuglien get a nose job?  I swear his nose is smaller and even shorter!  Anybody else notice that?  Also, I think the fact that Jonathan Toews must be exhausted is throwing off the equilibrium of the team.  Give this kid a break and let him sit out a few games before he collapses would ya?!

Along those lines, do you think when Niklas Hjalmarsson goes to take a shower in the morning he sees a whole bunch of purple circles on his chest?  Brings new meaning to “taking one for the team”!  And do you think when Marian Hossa looks in the mirror he thinks he looks like Ziggy too?

Within two minutes of the initial puck drop, Kris Versteeg charged the net with the puck and was tripped. (That would be one of many penalties that should have been called on the Sabres that wasn’t.)  Then Jonathan Toews attempted to follow through for the goal with one of his signature “Superman” moves, but was denied by Lalime.  Lalime would shine again, when, about seven minutes into the 1st period, it was a 4-on-3 in the Hawks’ favor and still the Hawks power-play unit could not get the puck past him.  While Lalime was exceedingly good at blocking shots, he allowed many rebounds, so the Hawks should have scored on that 4-on-3 at least.  Clearly the power-play unit still needs some work, though the penalty-kill unit is still in rare form.

Seems the Hawks may have a slight problem in general with follow-through, however.  While the Hawks outshot the Sabres 17-11 (in the 1st period, that is), they still did not score.  Perhaps the Hawks should’ve watched the Sabres for tips on follow-through as Buffalo turned it around in the 2nd period, outshooting the Hawks 17 to 7 and scoring the sole two goals in two periods.

Early on in the 3rd period, the Hawks seemed to turn it around again when Patrick Sharp scored a little over a minute into the period thanks to Dustin Byfuglien forcing a turnover.  Meanwhile, the Sabres appeared to be a different team entirely only getting one shot on goal for the first half of the 3rd period.  And even though the Hawks outshot the Sabres 16-5 in the 3rd, Lalime and the Sabres turned it on again in the last 5 minutes to hold on for the win, 2-1 over the Hawks.  Overall, the problem for the Hawks in this game was follow-through; they just didn’t have it.

There were also many avoidable penalties on the Hawks in this game, including one in the 2nd period where Patrick Sharp flagrantly held Sabres’ defenseman Steve Montador around his middle and threw him to the ice.  Add to that another avoidable penalty with that too-many-men-on-the-ice call, also in the 2nd, and the Hawks were too often working in a deficit.  And worst of all, Duncan Keith got called for hooking in the last two minutes of the game. (And yes, despite what Pat Foley and Eddie Olczyk said, Duncan Keith did hook, and before he hooked, he high-sticked but was not called for it.)  In a game where you’re having trouble getting shots on net as it is, is it really a good idea to be a man down? (even though your penalty-kill unit is one of the best in the league?)  Relax Hawks.  Don’t do it.  When you want to commit needless penalties.

But then, maybe the Hawks’ problem was that they were too relaxed in this game.  In fact, some might say the Hawks were downright lax.

The Hawks were also having a dilly of a pickle of a time getting any traction on the ice.  I’ve noticed this a lot in the last several games.  The ice seems to be either too soft and therefore a wet, sloppy mess, or not soft enough, causing frequent wipeouts.  Don’t know what that’s about, but the Hawks were clearly having trouble.

The Hawks’ penalty-kill unit was also having a tough go.  They let down their guard, a rarity, which led to the Ducks’ Teemu Selanne scoring a goal late in the 1st period, and a goal at about the midway point in the game.

Also at the midway point, Dustin Byfuglien had an incidental collision with James Wisniewski wherein Byfuglien accidentally tripped and took out the Duck’s goal tender, Jean-Sebastien Giguere.  Unfortunately, Byfuglien was hit with an interference on a goal keeper penalty.   And though Giguere took a big swing at Byfuglien, not a Duck was cited for a penalty. Worse, on the resulting power play, the Ducks’ Nick Boynton scored another goal, putting another dent in the Hawks’ penalty-kill percentage.

Byfuglien would get a little revenge of sorts when, after serving his time in the sin bin, he came out and put some snow in Giguere’s face.  As a result, former Hawk James Wisniewski went at Big Buff in a slight scrap. And yeah, it’s always a little sad when former teammates go at each other, but it’s understandable on Wiz’s part since Buff has become something of a goal-tender agitator.  Perhaps Buff should focus instead on his skating and stick-handling since he has appeared in the last few games to be bumbling badly.

In addition to Byfuglien’s bad performance, the whole team just fell down, which resulted in a win for the Ducks in a 3 to 0 shutout.  There was bad passing, too many turnovers, lackadaisical skating, a penalty-kill unit that hardly showed up, a horrible whiff in the 3rd period by Brian Campbell on a nearly wide-open net, needless penalties, and I don’t know that the Hawks ever got a single rebound.  Not to mention that the Hawks got totally outskated.  What?  Did the Hawks have too much turkey yesterday?  Were they in a tryptophan coma?  Well, whatever it was, hopefully they shake it off by tomorrow’s game against the Kings.

On a more whimsical note, Comcast finally interviewed Niklas Hjalmarsson. During the first intermission, Eddie Olczyk asked how Hjalmarsson was able to block so many shots. (Hjalmy leads the Hawks in blocked shots.)  Hjalmy said,

“I guess I like the pain.  The puck just seems to hit me…It’s kind of my role to do those things instead of scoring goals… I just try to do those small things really good.”

Mission accomplished Nik.  And as an aside, Hjalmarsson’s long-awaited “One Goal” commercial debuted today.  In it, Hjalmarsson paired up with IKEA apparently, and went around the store pronouncing all the Swedish names of the furniture (and the word “meatball,” you know, in case you didn’t know how to pronounce “meatball”).  Then he said, “My goal is to help Chicago appreciate Swedish imports.”  Well, we can certainly appreciate Hjalmarsson, and we have since the playoffs last year.  In time, he will no doubt become one of the superstars of the game.

- Recorded a career-high three game point streak (5A) from (Feb. 3 – Feb. 7).

- Established a career-high three points (3A) against Calgary on Feb. 5.

- Logged a season-high 22:26 time on ice against Colorado on Dec. 12. 

It isn’t just Matty.  All the Hawks have stepped up their game.  Today in particular, the birthday boy, James Wisniewski, took a pounding on the boards (It looked like one hit for every year and maybe even one to grow on).  Still, he managed to score in the first period.  Happy birthday Wiz!

And how about Cristobal Huet?  He’s looking like Khabibulin lately.  Why couldn’t he have played this way all season???

Dave Bolland’s line has also been indispensable of late.  The Hawks must have known the Stars would come out swingin’ in this game to keep from being swept by the Hawks this season.  Still, the 10 minute misconduct call on both Dave Bolland and Steve Ott was a bit much.  Yes, they scrapped, but did anyone see any behavior that would have merited sending them to the locker room?

And finally, I’ve held my tongue all season, but I just can’t help asking why Steve Konroyd has to call some of the road games.  It’s not just that he’s not as good as Eddie Olczyk.  It’s that Konroyd — or as he’s known by my friends and I, Steve “Hemorrhoid” — is…well…irritating.  Like Tucks Medicated Pad irritating.  He has no sense of humor that I can see, he’s a bit of a know-it-all, though he doesn’t know it all, and he comes off as a bit of a snob.  And he and Pat Foley have zero, as in nada, chemistry.  Pat Foley is a jocular, witty kind of guy, which makes for an excellent and entertaining announcer.  But Konroyd is a stick-in-the-mud.  If Hemorrhoid has to hang around, he should stay at the desk and do the game highlights between periods.  At least then I can mute him and go get a beer.  Anything less is intolerable.

But still, great game today Hawks, even though most of it was spent with the mute button on.

And how many times have we seen someone who doesn’t even have the puck get checked and interference isn’t even called?  At least the puck was in the vicinity of Backes, though true enough, he hadn’t touched it.  It’s just that Cam Barker didn’t time his hit well, that’s all.

…And things did not improve from there with the Hawks losing 2-0.

Fast forward to last season (2007-2008). I saw my first hockey game ever at the United Center on April 2, 2008. Hawks v. the Red Wings. Wow! Though the playoffs were out of reach, it was so amazing watching the Hawks zoom the Red Wings. What a game to be my first! I was immediately hooked.

Admittedly, sitting next to Hawks fans who’d been there for decades, who could talk breezily about shift changes and penalty calls, was daunting. I literally knew nothing about hockey other than to watch for the puck to go into the net. It reminded me of the first Bears game I’d ever seen in person where Superfans (with the attending dark glasses and mustaches) explained the finer points of the game to me. Hockey was different though. I hadn’t grown up perched in front of the TV set riveted to hockey the way I had football. Luckily that’s true for a lot of burgeoning hockey fans, so I guess I’m in good company. But as a woman, it’s even harder to break into the hockey inner circle, because, let’s face it, it’s made up of mostly men.

The boys’ club has never really bothered me. They’ve always been pretty accepting of chicks, with a few extreme exceptions. Indeed, I love it when men extend a protective wing to a woman who really wants to understand a sport. These kinds of men are not only not intimidated by a woman who wants to know as much about a sport as they do, they relish it. This of course serves their purposes too. The more men that can get women into sports, the fewer Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights we’ll all be spending alone. Still, it has always been a little nerve-racking to walk into a sports bar with a Hawks sweater on. It’s still novel I suppose…especially for a woman. You immediately have dozens of men staring at you wondering which team you “bat” for.

That’s the reason for this blog. I figured if I was going to learn about hockey, perhaps the journey would be better shared with others. Since that first game in April 2008 when I saw Kaner and Tazer for the first time, as well as all the others whose numbers and stats I now know like my own name, I have come a long way. There were nights where I sat for hours going through a hockey glossary just to try and understand the penalties and how the game was played. Unfortunately, I would not be learning like most of you all have — with a father, brother, or some other family member who knows hockey like they know how to breathe.

But then it dawned on me. I don’t have to take this trip alone. If I share my journey on the Internet, maybe some of you will come with me. This could come in particularly handy since the game is often so lightning fast, you are puzzled as to what you’ve seen. Even Pat Foley and Eddie Olczyk at times don’t know what penalty has been called. But I bet many of you do.

So, come join me won’t you, as I learn this fascinating game of hockey. (Perhaps the Blackhawks organization and the NHL in general, will learn that there are women who love hockey just as much as men do, and that like the Bears and other NFL teams, they should be reaching out to us, with workshops and ladies appreciation days, etc.) Socrates said, and I paraphrase, that wisdom begins when you admit you know nothing. So hopefully my hockey wisdom will begin with my public declaration that I began knowing nothing and ended up knowing much and befriending many in the process.